Hi,
Let me tell you a secret about a rather useless skill I have: I have an incredible memory for people’s birthdays! You tell me the date, and somehow it just sticks to my internal hard drive. This includes people I haven’t seen since middle school. For a while, before Google Calendar or Facebook were a thing, I provided a personalised birthday reminder service to friends who were useless at remembering other friends’ birthdays.
I may have this skill because I like celebrations. I used to be one of those children who loved having a birthday party. My mother was a good host and she was always happy that I wanted to invite lots of friends over.
But, inevitably, at some point during the party, I would be thrown into deep despair by some detail, something so small that’s impossible to remember decades later. I know that one year I became sad because I had an argument with my best friend at the time. Another year, I got upset because a friend did not show up – I simply couldn’t focus on all the others who were there at the party.
I’ve become better at managing expectations, I think, but there’s a characteristic that I maintain from those early days. When an anniversary comes, I get excited, but I also go down a spiral of reminiscence and often self-doubt.
This month, we’re celebrating our first year at The Correspondent. I’m incredibly excited about it all (we even got an audio app for our first birthday!), but I also became paralysed by the amount of things that I was hoping to achieve, and have not been able to do yet.
I had my one-year review with my editor, Rob Wijnberg, and I reflected on some of these issues with him. But now I thought it’s a good idea to do it with you. What did I get right and what did I get wrong?
Since this newsletter offers you a glimpse into how I go about my work, I will share some thoughts about it here.
But I also want to hear from you. What did you like about my work? What do you think I should improve? You can leave your thoughts below this piece.
What I’m proud of
I’ve come a long way since that party when I cried because that one friend had not shown up. This is why I want to start with the list of the things I got right.
I’m proud of having brought children to discuss with adults on the platform, together with the help of conversation editor Nabeelah Shabbir.
I’m proud of having told people about the mistakes I’ve made and having killed a story after thinking I was not going to add much to the conversation about gender.
I’m proud of having been in contact with many of you members, and having had a chance to get your feedback on a couple of stories I wrote before publication.
I’m proud of having held two in-person events in Amsterdam and Buenos Aires, where I learned a lot from members. In Amsterdam I understood that no story is too small to tell, while in Buenos Aires I realised how important it is to talk openly about why we decide to have, or not have, children.
I’m proud of having had a chance to collaborate with many others on the team (with Lynn Berger on this interview with the great Alison Gopnik, with OluTimehin Adegbeye, Valentijn De Hingh and Nesrine Malik on what feminists should ask for in 2020, and with even more collaboration in the pipeline!)
I’m proud of this very newsletter: a space that I come to every week to share my deeper thoughts and learn from your responses.
I’m also proud of having worked on an advisory board: the bottom line is that I, as one person with one set of eyes and ears now located in Greece, can only see and understand that much. I want to make sure to have a set of diverse people among you members who can help me expand my views and better my work.
Ultimately, I’m proud of having put the first 1,000 days, or the beginning of life, on the agenda as a topic that journalists should pay attention to – not something to leave only to scientists, parents, or teachers. (If you’re interested and understand Italian, journalist Alberto Puliafito of Slow News asked me why I thought the first 1,000 days were worth writing about from a journalistic perspective, and I gave him quite a long-winded answer … You can read it in MicroMega magazine here.)
What I want to do better
Let me start with the advisory board: this project has been on partial hold because I want it to be extremely diverse from the get-go, and that idea has paralysed me. So I think I will start off with a few members to experiment and then expand it further.
I want my sources to be more diverse. When I wrote about play I had experts from the global north and from the global south, but for some other stories the experts I spoke to, especially about neuroscience, were very heavily located in the global north.
My choice of stories may have lost you along the way. This is what Stephen, a member, told me recently as we sat down to talk about this first year at The Correspondent. He’s a paediatrician and he said that he just did not understand why I chose to write about abortion in Argentina, for example. I tried to explain it in a newsletter, but I want to make sure that you can follow my choices as I make them. I have also jumped a lot from topic to topic. For example I started writing about play, but I got distracted by breastfeeding. But I’m not done with play yet, and I want to make sure that you know about this in the future and you can follow me more.
My voice. I want to write in a more genuine and true manner, and I need to figure out exactly what my voice sounds like. The issue is that for years I was used to writing news, which required a flat language that everybody could understand and recognise immediately. But now, I want you to know who is writing your stories, and I want you to recognise it’s me.
My impact. I believe that taking into account children’s and carers’ perspectives is hugely important, and I want everyone to be on the same page. The beginning of an individual’s life is where everything starts. So why isn’t everyone paying attention to this?!
How can you help?
With my advisory board! Write to me if you think you can add a diverse perspective to my beat. Here’s what I’m looking for.
With diversity! Are you a neuroscientist/paediatrician/play practitioner and do you live in the global south? Please get in touch and let’s talk!
With the choice of stories! I’ve already asked you what you would like me to write about, and I must say that I have dealt with several of those topics on that list. But make sure to keep sending me ideas and suggestions. I may not get to them immediately, but I will get there, eventually.
With my voice! Only I can find out what I really sound like and what I want to say, but often external readers are good at gauging genuineness. So, if you think I nailed something, let me know! (Getting compliments is always nice, you know. *GRIN*)
With my impact! If you’ve been enjoying this newsletter, forward it to one friend (a parent, an educator, or maybe a politician!), who will enjoy it too. They can sign up for free here.
Don’t forget to let me know your thoughts. What did you like about my work? What do you think I should improve?
Until next week,
Irene
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If you’re interested in reading more about the process of growing up, as well as reproductive rights, sexuality and the challenges and joys of parenting, you can subscribe to my weekly newsletter about the First 1,000 Days of life.